S1, E3: Pack Mentality

We return to our hero Scott on a steamy date with Allison in a…broken down old bus. Hmm, maybe think a little more about location next time buddy? A deserted bus is not a great place for a date. It does however turn out to be a great place for murder when he wolfs-out and kills her! Well, I guess that’s the end of the Allison story, it was nice while it lasted and…oh? Okay, she’s not dead, it was just a nightmare Scott had. Or was it? The bus from Scott’s dream is found bloody and smashed up. Scott races to find Allison, who is fine. He does accidentally smash DB’s locker in his emotional rage, and DB calls him “Asswipe”, because he is determined to be the best cliché bully he can be.

At lunchtime Scott and Stiles discuss the bus and the old bus driver who was found gravely injured inside. Scott is scared that he accidentally attacked the man because his dream was so vivid, and he wants to go to Derek to ask advice. Scott and Stiles’ lunch is interrupted by the popular group sitting with them, which completely shocks them. Come on Sx2 you know how it works, Scott is good at lacrosse so he has been anointed into the cool club. Lydia forces Scott and Allison to go on a double date with her and DB, but that’s not important because Danny is real! I’m so excited; Danny the gay goalkeeper is real! He got a couple of lines and everything. My OTP shall continue! I’m actually pretty excited about the fact that this show has a canon gay guy, I thought that it was all just Tumblr using their GIF trickery to make this show look a lot more gay than it really is. Also Stiles is concerned that Danny doesn’t find him attractive and yells the line, “Tell me if I’m attractive to gay dudes,” after Scott, so that happened. I polled all the gay guys I live with (one) and the consensus is that gay guys do not find Stiles attractive. Sorry man.

We go to the hospital where Scott’s mother works, so I guess she’s a Doctor or Nurse? Scott goes to talk to the bus driver who freaks out. Admittedly Scott did ask if he was okay while he’s laying in hospital with his face all smushed up. Does he look okay Scott? I’d probably try to strangle the beautiful idiot too. Scott decides to go to Derek for help. Meanwhile Derek is in his creepy, burnt, house, starting dramatically through a window at a sheriff and making the guy’s dog bark so much that he flees. Scott arrives and Derek is all, “Yeah, you’re gonna kill someone,” super casually. He says that his help comes at a cost that will be revealed later, and tells Scott to go to the bus to get his memories back.

Sx2 go to the school under the cover of night, and Stiles complains that Scott always gets to be Batman while he’s stuck being Robin. Poor metaphor dude, Batman doesn’t even have super powers and Scott has wolf powers! He’s more like Wolverine, or the Hulk, and you’re…I guess Robin still, since I can’t think of any human sidekicks from X-Men. In the bus Scott gets some magical flashbacks and remembers more about what happened to the bus driver. He remembers seeing someone else attacking the dude. So yay, Scott isn’t a murderer, now he can go on that date with Allison! (and also not kill Stiles accidentally). 

Lydia and Allison get ready for their double date, and Allison owns a lot of ugly, flowy, print tops that look nothing like the tailored, black and white outfits she’s worn in the show so far. Lydia tries to put a stop to the madness. Allison’s dad forbids her to go out because there’s a wild animal on the loose, and everyone knows that mountain lions love bowling! In rebellion Allison jumps out the window without changing into Lydia’s expertly picked top. Lydia doesn’t do windows, and instead chooses the stairs. 

At the bowling double date Lydia is a terrible bowler, giving DB an opportunity to wrap his arms around her and “help” (he’s not very helpful). I have to admit that DB is super hot, but, like, so is literally every guy on this show. He still has not earned his real name. Allison is great at bowling, and Scott sucks. Then Allison tells Scott to picture her naked, his hormones make him wolf out, and he makes an awesome strike. Damn, next time I go bowling I’m totally picturing Allison naked. Seriously though, is this whole, Scott sucks at something, then wolfs out and is awesome at it thing going to happen in every episode? 

Meanwhile Allison’s dad goes to a petrol station with his hunter buddies while Derek is fuelling up. Derek has a black car, of course (like his soul). Allison’s dad reminds Derek that his family is all dead, and then cleans his windscreen? Then gets one of his lackeys to smash Derek’s window. I don’t understand the purpose of this at all, are they trying to intimidate Derek? Do they know that he’s a werewolf or just suspect it?     

Lydia hits on Scott because he’s now good at bowling and lacrosse, so clearly he’s worth her attention. Scott turns her down and she bowls a perfect strike by herself, because now she’s punishing DB for not being the best male bowler in the group. DB gets pouty and goes to unleash his emotions on a game of pinball. Scott tries to make friends and DB is all, RAGE, I am the Designated Bully, don’t try to be nice to me! Don’t you know my entire purpose is to be antagonistic and angry! DB also tells Scott that he suspects him of being on steroids or something weirder, because Scott’s weird. I’m glad that somebody has noticed Scott constantly turning into a werewolf and performing impossible feats. 

Scott takes Allison home and then goes back to his home, where Stiles has tried climbing into Scott’s room through his window, and almost been attacked by Scott’s mum with a baseball bat, hilariously yelling, “do you even really play baseball?” That’s it Stiles, focus on the really important things. He tells Scott that the bus driver has died, so Scott goes to confront Derek. Derek hasn’t been dramatic enough this episode, so his disembodied voice fills the scorched room as Scott enters his house. Derek denies killing the bus driver or his sister, saying that the body of his sister was being used as bait, for him. Scott’s pretty sure that Derek killed them both though, so he rages into a werewolf. We finally get to see Derek’s wolf form, through a dramatic, walking past dappled glass sequence, (oh Derek) and he has blue wolf eyes, unlike Scott’s yellow, which is interesting. They have a really boring fight for two super powered werewolf brothers/enemies, but I can forgive the show for some bad fights in early episodes. Scott actually yells, “You ruined my life!” because he is a dramatic teenager. Derek reveals that he was not the one who bit Scott, that was the Alpha werewolf, who was also the one who bit Derek. Derek and Scott are both Beta werewolves, and werebrothers! So now we have a new mystery, who is the Alpha werewolf and why does he want Scott? Find out next time! (Maybe, I don’t actually know when this will be resolved, season finale maybe?)    


S1, E2: Second Chance at First Line

Our tale picks up in the locker room before a game of lacrosse. Scott is in shock, and informs Stiles about the whole, the dad of the girl I’m crushing on tried to murder me with a crossbow the other night thing. The timeline seems pretty tight, so I’m guessing we’re picking up right after Allison’s dad picked her up, Scott must have gone straight to the locker room for lacrosse. Lacrosse is life. I’ve decided that I am not going to make any effort to learn what lacrosse is beyond what this show shows me. So far from what I understand it is soccer with sticks but super intense and important. Also requires approximately 300 pounds of body armour for some reason.

The guys start their game, Scott is bad and Coach says, “Do you think you can move faster than the lifeless corpse of my dead grandmother?” I seriously love this guy. Scott then hulks out and smashes through Designated Bully (I’m going to call him DB for now for brevity). Since Scott is wolfing out in the middle of the day with no full moon it seems that werewolf form is triggered by emotions in this show, rather than the moon. I think that this is a good call, much more dramatic for a TV show that kind of revolves around it’s leads emotions. Derek stands by the bleachers, looking much less dramatic in mid afternoon with no mood lighting or smoke. Tough break dude. Scott, still in wolf-rage mode, runs into the locker room with Stiles who tries to calm him down but gets attacked. Thinking quickly Stiles grabs a fire extinguisher and…extinguishes the werewolf from Scott. Seriously, that works. I should really learn how to use one of those things, in case of fire or werewolves. 

Later Scott and Stiles are video chatting, and being really dramatic about how Scott can’t play at the Big Lacrosse Game but he has to because lacrosse is life. But it brings out the violence in him? I don’t know, I guess DB’s injury showed that the game can cause injury, but it does not seem like a super rage fuelled sport. Stiles argues that Scott could wolf out and kill someone, but Scott has to play in the Big Lacrosse Game, and, seriously? I don’t care whether Scott plays the game, I want to know more about the werewolf stuff! While they’re chatting, there’s actually a pretty creepy moment where Stiles is trying to tell Scott something but his video freezes so he tries to type it, and the words come up, “it looks like there’s someone behind you”. Legit chills. Scott turns around, is attacked and…lol, it’s just Derek. I’m sorry but I cannot find it in myself to be scared of this guy. He makes some threats, Scott can’t play in the Big Lacrosse Game because he might kill someone and, ugh, I don’t care!

Next scene Scott is talking to Coach about the game and bleh, ok, I guess that’s what this episode is going to be and I have to accept it. Coach says that Scott has to play, Scott says that he can’t because of “reasons” and Coach asks if Scott is gay and tries to set him up with Danny in goalkeeping, which is kind of adorable and the only part of their conversation I care about. Can I ship Scott and Danny? I bet he’s never mentioned again, but OTP! Coach says that Scott needs to play as a way to deal with his aggression and, ok, I guess I’ll accept that lacrosse is a super violent, therapeutic sport? 

I have learned that DB’s real name is Jackson, but I refuse to call him that until he becomes a real character (if ever). Lydia solidifies my eternal love for her, emotionally manipulating Scott into playing the Big Lacrosse Game while simultaneously beating him at solving maths on the chalkboard. She threatens to introduce Allison to all of the sexy lacrosse players (because they are the only boys worth dating) when they go out after the game if Scott doesn’t play. Flawless.

Scott and Styles are convinced that Derek killed the girl in the woods and decide to prove it so that Scott can play in the Big Lacrosse Game! Or, because it’s the right thing to do or something…I don’t know why but I do not buy that Derek killed that girl. Partially because Scott and Stiles think so, and there’s no way those idiots could be right, and partially because Derek is nowhere near as threatening as he thinks he is. They go to the hospital (/morgue?) so that Scott can smell the half of the girl that the police have to check that it’s the same corpse from Derek’s forest. Ha ha, ew, Scott has to sniff a corpse with his super scent, and Stiles is weirdly excited about it. Meanwhile Stiles has to wait in the reception with Lydia who is waiting for DB. Stiles makes a terrible attempt at hitting on her which of course fails. Stiles sweetie, you’re probably going to have to become a star lacrosse player to get my Queen’s attention. DB gets out and says that he’s okay but sore, and Lydia is all, TAKE ALL THE DRUGS SO YOU CAN PLAY LACROSSE. I love how horrible she is.  

Scott confirms that the two halves of the mangled corpse match up, so off he and Stiles venture to dig up a body! Stiles is enthusiastic of course, sweet macabre baby that he is. They find a body buried on Derek’s land, but it’s a wolf’s body! Thankfully Stiles has great werewolf knowledge from Google and late night horror B movies, so he finds some wolfsbane and pulls it out of the ground and there’s a magic circle on the ground and the wolf corpse turns into half a girl’s corpse!

The next day Stiles’ daddy who is Sherriff comes to arrest Derek, still looking very ordinary in plain daylight. Derek tells Stiles to stop Scott from playing in the Big Lacrosse Game at all costs. Scott and Stiles discuss werewolf mythology on the drive back from Derek’s house. Why was the girl a different type of wolf than Scott? Is this a new breed or do women turn into full wolves while men turn into Wolverine? Did Derek kill her because she’s a different breed of werewolf? I like this, all this discussion is good. But Scott isn’t that interested in finding out more about his new werewolf powers, and seeing if he can become a freaking wolf, because he has to concentrate on the Big Lacrosse Game. Sigh, Scott baby, you’re going to make me hate you. He freaks out about, well, everything, goes wolf, then immediately goes to Allison’s house to stalk her. This goes about as well as you’d imagine, by which I mean he falls off her roof and gets hit by her dad’s car. Thankfully he turns back into a human before Allison and her dad see him, but Alli’s Daddy’s suspicions are aroused and he invites himself to the Big Lacrosse Game, because of course he did, it’s so freaking important. Scott does hilariously apologise for hitting her dad’s car with his body though, so I like him again.

It’s the night of the Big Lacrosse Game! Thank god, it will be over soon. I hope every episode doesn’t have this werewolves/lacrosse ratio. Coach tells DB to suck it up if his shoulder hurts and DB looks sad for a moment, like, “why does nobody care if I’m okay, is lacrosse the only important thing about me?” and I feel a spark of sympathy. But only for a moment, I’m not letting him have his real name yet. The game is super intense, helped along by some dramatic cuts and angles and sound effects. It also looks freezing, everybody’s breath is fogging in front of them, which is admittedly very dramatic. Scott plays poorly, DB told everyone not to pass to Scott, Scott goes wolf and dominates. It’s actually kind of hilarious, one guy from the other team just passes him the ball, like, “nope, lacrosse isn’t worth this dude growling at me”. He also shoots the ball so hard that it rips through the goalkeeper’s stick net thing. 

They win the game and everybody runs over to celebrate, but Scott flees to the locker room because he’s still wolfy. But somehow nobody noticed? Allison chases after him, into the dark, enclosed room, and it’s actually a pretty tense scene. Scott smashed a mirror (oh no, you don’t need more bad luck dude!) but when Allison finds him he’s fine. She forgives him, they kiss, Stiles watches from the shadows. After Allison leaves Scott is all giddy, because who cares about the almost accidentally killing people thing, Allison kissed him! But Stiles spoils his mood with news that the Sherriff thinks the mangled corpse in Derek’s yard was killed by an animal, so Derek is free. And even more shockingly the body has been identified as Derek’s sister! DUN DUN DUN. Meanwhile, on the empty field, DB picks up Scott’s lacrosse glove, punctured by his woolfy claws. Derek surveys him from afar, dramatically lit by the field lights and the rolling smoke. Yay, he finally got his dramatic lighting shot! Good for you bro.

How is Scott going to handle this turn of events? Find out next time!

S1, E1: Wolf Moon

Our tale begins with Scott (I actually did know his name I just forgot it) and his friend Stiles excitedly seeking out a mangled corpse in the woods. Why on earth are they both so excited about finding half a dead body? Neither of them seems like they could handle it, as proven by Scott moments into the episode just before he gets bit. I like a story that gets the supernatural stuff established quickly. I’m here for a show called Teen Wolf, I want to see a teenage werewolf. I’m glad that they seem to have chosen to keep the werewolves hidden in shadows and quick cuts, because I don’t really want to see a terrible CGI werewolf running around. Admittedly I do watch Once Upon a Time though, I guess I can forgive any number of terrible special effects.

So Scott goes to school the next day with a gnarly wound. Designated bully guy shows up and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him in GIF sets? Like a lot. I hope he gets a redeeming arc, I love bullies who become awkward friends. Lydia makes a brief appearance too, establishing that Stiles has a crush on her and she doesn’t acknowledge his existence. Isn’t that always the way? Teen movies and shows have led me to believe that this means they will end up together once she sees what a beautiful shining person he is underneath his hideous, loser exterior. I am sceptical of this trope.

Scott discovers that he has advanced hearing, a staple of the super werewolf powers, through creepily eavesdropping on a new girl outside of his classroom. She walks in and it’s Allison! Hey Allison, you’re part of the group shot so I know that you’re important. Scott hands her a pen, because he overheard her outside lamenting the fact that she forgot one. Smooth dude, you would be the worst secret superhero ever.

After class Lydia walks up to Allison and declares them best friends because Allison has a nice jacket. I’ve never understood the trope of new girl comes to school and immediately has a designated best friend. Who was Lydia best friends with before? It doesn’t matter because life started at this episode. Lydia’s boyfriend is revealed to be Designated Bully whose name I can’t remember. If a main character is crushing on a popular girl she has to have an obnoxious boyfriend. Stiles also makes a hilarious comment about how, of course Allison and Lydia became friends, they’re hot, and beautiful people flock together. SHUT UP YOU’RE ALL BEAUTIFUL every single person at this school is hot, stop lying to me!

There’s a hilariously intense lacrosse game, which from what I can gather is like soccer? But with sticks? We don’t have lacrosse here in Oz. Why are they wearing so much protective gear, is it a contact sport? Why am I suddenly so invested in lacrosse? There’s also a CGI ball shot which is wonderful, and I retract my earlier statement about hiding the CGI because this stuff is gold. Scott is suddenly great at lacrosse because werewolf powers come with great reflexes and speed as well as the hearing. Speaking of which, Scott keeps eavesdropping on Allison’s conversations, which is super creepy. Scott sweetie, no, don’t invade the privacy of a girl you like, that’s not attractive. He’s also weirdly nonchalant about his super hearing, just like, hey, cool, I can hear conversations super far away and have super reflexes. He would be the worst superhero, he’d get superpowers and probably wouldn’t even notice.

Thankfully Stiles is on the ball, and jokes about lycanthropy before he even notices anything is up. And Scott doesn’t know what lycanthropy is, haha, why is this beautiful idiot our protagonist? They head off to the woods again to find Scott’s missing inhaler because it cost $80!? That is intense, do they really cost that much in America? Mine cost like $20. Derek, who also makes frequent GIF appearances and is on the cast photo, pops up to be cryptic and toss Scott his inhaler. He’s a couple of years older than our heroes, owns the land they’re on, and his family all burned to death in a fire. Hello, designated angsty dude, I look forward to you showing up from time to time and saying cryptic stuff.

Scott goes to the local animal clinic where he is hissed at by like, twenty cats. I’m not sure what connection he has to the place, I guess he might work there? Or his parents own it? It wasn’t very clearly explained in the episode. Allison shows up in the pouring rain so that they can have a moment over the dog she hit with her car. Scott uses some werewolfy powers on the dog, so I guess that cats hate werewolves and they have some control over dogs? Allison apologises for freaking out, “like a girl,” and I no longer like her. Seriously? There’s even dialogue establishing that she is ‘not like other girls’. Ugh. Scott apparently is like other girls though, so he can stay in my good books. Even though he’s still being creepy around Allison , seriously, he mentions stuff from conversations she had that he wasn’t included in. Worst superhero ever. 0 percent subtle.

There’s some more lacrosse, Scott makes it onto the team (of course) and Stiles realises that something is up with his buddy. Because he’s suddenly good at sports. Hah. Thank god for Stiles, otherwise Scott would probably blunder around, turn into a wolf, and be like, wow, huh, that was weird, I wonder if Allison will date me? Nothing much happens in the lacrosse game except that the coach uses the phrase, “…and everything else is cream cheese,” which is really weird, and I have no idea what that means, but I’m totally going to start using it all the time.

Stiles warns Scott about being a werewolf and Scott just brushes it off because he has a bit party to get to! Stop trying to figure out the weird shit that’s happening Stiles, god, Scott has a date with Allison! We are treated to a shot of shirtless Scott straight out of the shower. Thank you show, I appreciate all the fan service you give me. Scott and Allison go to the party and Derek is there, standing in the shadows, his only illumination a flickering torch. What a dramatic dork, I bet he spent ages figuring out the perfect place to stand. Lydia is getting hot and heavy with Designated Bully, but eyeing up Scott. I guess she’s really attracted to great lacrosse players? Scott freaks out because it’s the full moon, and we all know what that means. He ditches Allison, and drives off into the night, and Derek appears behind her to be ominous.

Scott turns into a werewolf, which in this show seems to be just claws, teeth, ears, eyes and…sideburns? I swear we saw a woolfy looking werewolf before, but I guess that could be the alpha wolf or something. He runs into the woods, and Stiles goes to Allison’s house to tell her mother that she may have been kidnapped by Derek. But Allison is home safe, and Derek finds Scott to explain that he was protecting her from Scott’s new, uncontrolled werewolf powers. Aww, he’s a good guy under that ruggedly, dark and troubled exterior. He just needs a hug and some dramatic lighting probably. Derek saves Scott from some hunters with crossbows. Derek tells Scott that they are brothers now, even though he isn’t currently in werewolf form at the full moon? I guess in this mythology they may be able to control when they turn.

Scott goes back to school and meets with an angry Allison, and acts super suspicious. Like, she actually offers the explanation that he got sick and had to leave but he’s all cryptic and, “you just have to trust me on this one.” She forgives him, because of course she does. All seems well as she skips off to be driven home by her dad who turns around and GASP, he’s one of the hunters! Dun dun dun…This can only mean trouble for our plucky hero! How’s Scott going to handle this turn of events? Find out next time! (or, I mean, you possibly already know…no spoilers!)

Blogging Teen Wolf Intro

I’ve been meaning to watch Teen Wolf for ages. I watched the first episode way back when it aired, and wasn’t really interested. But my friends have told me to power through the first season and from what I’ve seen on Tumblr it looks like it gets a lot better.

So I thought that it would be fun to record my reactions and thoughts on the show episode by episode. I’ve never gone into a show before that I knew would start campy and light and turn into some dark, in depth stories.

I do know a little bit about Teen Wolf, I wasn’t very careful about avoiding spoilers, so I feel like I should put everything I know out on the table.

Things I’ve learned from GIFs

–       Everybody loves Stiles

–       He’s not the main character, he’s the wisecracking human sidekick

–       Tyler Posey plays the main character (for some reason I don’t know his name)

–       There’s a handsome broody guy called Derek

–       Gay guys? I’m not entirely sure if there are actually any gay guys or if there have just been enough Tumblr GIF sets to make it seem like there are

–       Stiles turns evil at some point. I think possession is involved?

–       There is a girl called Allison who I think hunts werewolves? She has arrows?

–       She dies and it upset a lot of people

–       I will probably love Lydia Martin because I adore bitchy, popular girl characters

And that is everything I have been spoiled about on Tumblr. From now on I’m going to actually make an effort to avoid spoilers and forget what I already know to experience the show anew. I have three and a half seasons to get through, so let the adventure begin!